I hear you Windy Woo! Farts are a fine thing amongst your nearest and dearest but it’s a different story in the sack!
No-one wants to let it rip when there’s a head between their legs (even though it’s pretty normal).
THINGS THAT MIGHT HELP
Back off the beans, dairy, broccoli and cohorts and TOP TIP - try having sex before dinner rather than when you’re full.
Don’t drink or eat too fast in case you’re inhaling too much air and avoid bubbly drinks.
Try some ginger or peppermint tea to calm your digestion.
Avoid sex positions such as knees bent toward your chest that might inadvertently push one out.
Lie down for a little while before sex so that your stomach gases have time to rearrange themselves.
Thrusting puts pressure on the rectum and might cause air to be pushed out so maybe change positions if you feel like there’s one brewing.
Whatever you do, don’t ask your lover to pull your finger.
Laughing is the best way to handle a fart but oh my lord if it’s a stinker, I hope you’ve got a nice candle burning in the bedroom.
And there’s the product placement…ta da…Bedroom Massage Candles!! They create aaambiaaaance, can be used for massaging and cover bad fart smells :)