Pegging away at stigma and stereotypes

Written by Finula Greene

Pegging, what is it? Who is it for? How do you do it? Where do you start? While pegging has been a bit of a hot topic over the last couple of years, you may already have some preconceived notions about what it is and who partakes in it. Notions that may be influenced by deeper seated stereotypes and stigma. But, despite some of these outdated – or false – narratives, there’s something to gain for anyone willing to introduce this practice into their play. Yes, even you.

What is pegging?

Pegging is when a person (typically with a vulva) wears a strap-on to penetrate a (typically male-bodied) person anally. The penetration might involve the pegger wearing a dildo or pleasure device mounted in a harness to facilitate said penetration.

Why pegging?

Why pegging, indeed. People engage in pegging for a whole myriad of reasons: to simulate the sensation of penetrating another person, to feel like a penis-owner, to feel in control, to relinquish control, to gain a greater empathy and understanding around what it’s like to be penetrated, to experiment with Dom/sub dynamics, to dabble in more advanced anal exploration, because it feels better than other kinds of penetration, as part of roleplay or a particular kink or fantasy scenario. Really, the reasons are as unique and varied as we are.

Why is pegging taboo?

Because pegging often takes place in a heterosexual dynamic where a cisgendered man is being penetrated anally by a dildo, there can be a harmful web of stereotypes to untangle before one or both partners are comfortable with exploring this sexual act.

Thanks to toxic masculinity (and its reinforcement by innumerable socio-political systems), anal stimulation among cisgendered men has long been a point of contention and stigma. Because this act has been tied to homosexuality, it is not unusual for lovers to spiral into a kind of identity crisis when they discover they (or their beau) enjoys this kind of stimulation.

These ideas have accompanied harmful misconceptions around being pegged. Being penetrated anally (even by a foreign object) can often be seen as ‘inherently feminine’; acts considered ‘acceptable’ for women or gay men (and bottoms at that). These murky views interfere with how acceptable it is for a cisgendered heterosexual man to want to be penetrated, or for a cisgendered woman to want to anally penetrate a (usually) male-bodied lover. Take a step back and you can see that these are both very limiting and conservative notions.

A woman standing in front of a large, spindly cactus, drinking from a green tumbler.

Pegging: it's a prickly subject.

But, here’s the thing. Humans are beautifully complex.

What is true for some, may not be true for all. If you enjoy anal stimulation – congrats – you’ve experienced a common and very human response given all of the nerve-endings down there. How you define this response is entirely up to you. If it adds to your straight, cisgendered pleasure practice – fuck yeah. If it complements your queer pleasure practice – fuck yeah. If it helps you completely embody your fantasies – hell, fuck yeah.

Who is pegging for?

Allow me to put some of the more damaging misconceptions to rest. Pegging is for everyone with a butthole and anyone with the inclination to penetrate another person consensually through the use of a proxy. Usually, one that’s made of silicone. I will echo this until my death bed, but you do not need to have a specific kind of body, ascribe to a certain gender or sexual identity to engage in pegging or anal stimulation of any sort. The act of pegging has absolutely nothing to do with gender or sexual identity unless you have consciously chosen to bring that into the dynamic.

Whether you’re straight, queer, cisgendered, trans, ace, non binary, or another sensual adjective of your own – there’s a pleasurable puzzle piece waiting for you in the grand spectrum of pegging. Why? Because the act itself is playful, intimate and expansive.