Many folks go through their lives, blissfully unaware of the frenulum and its pleasure potential – until now. Let us (re)introduce you to this often overlooked erogenous zone, and share our tips for performing a frenulum massage for maximum results. From techniques to accessories (yes, we're talking: toys), get ready to explore and excite this remarkable ridge.

What is the frenulum?

The frenulum is a v-shaped sweet spot on the underside of the glans (under the head of the penis), between the glans and the shaft. It exists to help the foreskin comfortably contract over the tip, and can often be very sensitive due to the concentration of nerve endings. (Yes, even after circumcision!) You could say that the frenulum is to the penis what the clitoris is to the vulva. And, just like vulvas, every penis is different. While the frenulum may vary slightly, it is a prime point to add on your pleasure map as stimulating this ridge can create intense orgasms and pleasure for penis owners.


What is frenulum massage?

Sexual massage is not just a form of foreplay, it can be a powerful act of intimacy and sex. And you don't have to be a Tantric master to touch your partner in a pleasurable way. 


When manually massaging the genitals, it is important to be slow, considered, and responsive to the person receiving the massage. They're in a vulnerable position, so it's not unusual for them to feel uncomfortable or have an emotional response. Sometimes even the person giving the frenulum massage may become emotional. Consent is essential here. Both the giver and receiver of the frenulum massage should be prepared for a potentially intense and long experience.


Discuss how you would like to communicate during the frenulum massage. Is the person receiving the frenulum massage allowed to say 'faster' or 'harder', or do they just submit to the other person's guidance? You might consider setting a time limit or taking breaks when needed. Focusing on pleasure and taking away the pressure of achieving an orgasm might also be helpful. Either way, it will still be a happy ending!


For frenulum massages, the penis owner may need to be encouraged to relax and be patient. They might feel focused on having an orgasm, worried that the experience is taking too long, or unsure how to communicate what kind of stimulation feels best. So, yes. It is an excellent way for a penis owner to experience what it is like to have a clitoris. While penis owners may be more familiar with manual, full-penis stimulation, stimulating the frenulum results in very targeted sensations. There will be some very pleasurable feelings, but it might take a while to get used to them. It can also be difficult for some to relax and receive pleasure. The good news is that frenulum massage can be done solo or with a partner, so there are many opportunities to practice.


How to prepare for a frenulum massage

Once consent, expectations and boundaries are communicated, it's time to create the experience!


Set the scene. Start with the senses.

While there's no specific formula, the ambience you create should be a unique reflection of you and your partner. For example, it could be as simple as a soft pillow under their head or lighting candles, burning scented oils and playing relaxing music. The important thing is having a safe and comforting place for intimacy to occur. One way to come up with ideas is to activate each of your senses.


Sight: Really lean into the theatre of this frenulum massage. You can go with soft lights and sensuous colours for visual effects. Or, as the masseuse, you might like to wear particular clothing, lingerie or accessories so that you become the visual effect. 


Sound: You might consider putting on music that you both enjoy, or you can focus on the sound of each other breathing. This can be particularly helpful in identifying which frenulum massage techniques are more effective than others. 


Smell: Use oils, candles or greenery to create a pleasant scent profile in the space, or you can relish in each other's natural aroma. During sexual activity, the body produces many different types of scents. You might even be able to learn what stage of arousal your partner is at just by the smell.


Taste: This might require a bit of creativity, but you can add lusciousness to the experience by sharing juicy, rich fruit or chocolate before or after the frenulum massage.


Touch: While the focus of touch will be the massage, you can also consider what textures the person receiving the massage might like to lay on, or you might incorporate different textures into your practice.


Here are some things you might like to to have on-hand before you start your frenulum massage:

  • Cushions, in case extra support is needed for the person giving or receiving the massage
  • Gentle massage oil or good quality lube
  • Towels (just in case)
  • Texture-based and/or vibrating sex toys
  • Patience and gentleness

How do I give a frenulum massage?

  1. Before using any lube or massage oil, gently locate the frenulum. 
    Start to delicately stroke the frenulum using the tips of your fingers. Ask the receiver to give you feedback on the pressure and sensitivity. The receiver's penis may be soft, fully erect, or vary between the two states during the massage. While erection and orgasm are certainly possible, the intention here is to focus on providing a pleasurable massage without the expectation (and pressure!) of a particular outcome.

  2. When you're both ready, try enhancing the sensation by using massage oil or lube. 
    Apply the lube by rolling the frenulum between your fingers. Remember to start with light pressure and gradually increase according to the receiver's preferences. Be prepared to stop or pause if your partner asks you to.

  3. Focus on making fine movements. 
    Trace circular shapes with your fingertips, lightly roll your finger along the frenulum. Try tickling the spot, using your knuckle to add a bit more intensity, or simply hold it and apply pressure.

  4. You may like to progress to using your lips and tongue to gently suck the frenulum. 
    While you can massage other areas such as the shaft or tip of the penis, this exercise is primarily about building sensations in the frenulum, so hold off for as long as you can before adding other areas.

  5. The final stimulation stage involves adding vibration or using a suction-based device.
    As this is the most intense sensation, it's best to work your way up to it. In fact, many toys are specially designed for frenulum stimulation. Try using different intensities and vibrational patterns. You can also hold the vibrator against your hand as you continue to massage the frenulum using your fingers.

  6. When you're ready to end the experience, make sure to allow some time for aftercare.
    Aftercare involves anything from showering together, to cuddling, chatting or having a snack to refuel after a charged sensual session.

Enjoy your frenulum journey!

Remember, the massage can be a relaxing, sensual and meditative experience for both the giver and the receiver. Feel free to drop us a line to let us know how you went.