Anal sex is about trust, communication and ongoing negotiation. It's about so much more than PIV (penis in vagina) sex because it's soooo much more complex. And that's where it falls into the soft - as opposed to hard - sex space.
At Passionfruit, we love talking about anal but we're aware that for many, it has led to a traumatic experience, an emotional upheaval or even physical injury. A lot of folks have experimented and never gone there again, and that's why it's so important to enter into any anal sex scenario armed with full consent, a clear mind, strong communication, sex positive education and enthusiasm.
You want this experience to elevate your sex life, not ruin it!
Anal sex is a minefield because there is zero education - from friends, parents or schools. Much of our education unfortunately comes from pornhub. If even basic sex education is wanting, then anal-sex-education is non-existent. So most of us pretty much wing it. OUCH!
Anal sex just ain't that easy. Partly because the rectum is not as flexible or lubricated as the vagina and because it requires preparation. Preparation can be a dirty word for a lot of us because we see it as killing the mood. But if you've never done anal before, you need some goddamn, finger-lickin', ass worshipping PREP! Only then can it be incredibly pleasurable and fulfilling.
That's why we believe that anal sex can (and should) be part of a slow, soft sex scenario. Because anal requires really intense, personal communication and slooooowness. You gotta talk about it and you gotta go slow!
Our advice? Ignore porn, arm yourself with education (and lube), try it on yourself first and if you're still really curious, invite it in to your playtime. And if you want to be the giver, make sure you're ready to receive it too. Make it slow, soft, filled with warm, sweet, constant kisses and check in's and most of all, really really intense pleasure.
AND ONE MORE THING TO PONDER: Porn lies to us. There's no prep, no talking. Just intense banging for a looong time. It's hardcore with no negotiation or consent, no lube except for a bit of spit and it's often rough or violent while resulting in multiple orgasms (yeah right)! And there's virtually no 'straight' porn where the one with the penis is the recipient of anal sex. Hmmm...
Listen to our interview with the inventor of the Snug Plug Alicia Sinclair HERE and read her tips on Anal Masturbation here.
Get more Butt Stuff info from our Resources page HERE
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