WEEK 2: PLEASURE PRINCIPLES

Time to pump up the pleasure in week 2 of the Couple’s Bootcamp!

Sexual meaning and self-understanding are important parts of having a happy, sexual relationship. While consistently perfect sexual performance is a myth, one of the best ways to understand both yourself and your partner is through the exploration of pleasure. 

Pleasure is all around us. It’s in small, mindful moments of contentment and joy throughout the day. It’s in food, music, art and movement. The research shows that pleasure is an essential part of our overall health and wellbeing and its effects can last for up to two days. The amount of satisfaction that we are able to derive out of anything is dependent on our ability to engineer enjoyment. Sexual pleasure should be valued as much as sexual function. This week is all about enhancing your experience of pleasure, both individually and within your relationship. It is also about exploring the relationship between pleasure that we feel inside and outside of our bodies. 

As usual, take on an open and curious attitude as you explore pleasure both inside and outside the bedroom. 

Watch

Euphemia Russell returns to guide us through a more detailed exploration of pleasure.

Exercises

Pleasurecraft
Your pleasure is something that is completely in your power. Enhancing your pleasure and connection outside of the bedroom can also enhance your pleasure in the bedroom. This week we challenge you to find three activities that give both of you pleasure to do over the course of the week. Discuss the aspects that gave you pleasure and what you thought and felt during the experience. Also, consider creating a list of pleasurable activities that you both enjoy to draw from when you are feeling stuck. Your list can include things like going for walks, cooking together, bathing each other, listening to music, or playing a game. Take note of all the little and not-so-little things that you enjoy experiencing together. Be prepared to revisit and recraft the list regularly.

Sweet spots
The body has over thirty erogenous zones and it is up to you to explore them all. By focusing on touch and relaxation in this activity you can find ways to enhance the eroticism of your intimate encounters. Take turns systematically exploring each other’s most sensitive parts to enhance your intimacy and discover any new spots that will elicit delight. Start with areas that have lower sexual response such as the head, scalp, ears, neck, shoulders/clavicle, arms, hands, fingers, abdomen, thighs, knees, feet and/or toes. Notice any unexpected reactions or sensations. Then you can move to the higher sexual response areas such as the lips, mouth, nipples, breasts, foreskin, tip of the penis, sides of the penis, front of scrotum, perineum, prostate gland, vaginal entrance, urethral sponge, cervix, clitoris, clitoral hood, vulva, anus. You can use your fingers or hand to explore these spots or experiment with using vibrators, or other items to stimulate a response.

Body histories
Our bodies tell a story. Our life’s history can be found on and in our bodies. It is on our skin, in our organs and in the way we move and act. Sometimes we need help translating and communicating the story of our bodies to each other, particularly in an intimate capacity. In this exercise, you and your partner will tell the story of your bodies. This activity is meant to draw out the emotional connections we have to different areas of our bodies, so be prepared to be vulnerable and perhaps surprised at what comes up. Explore your scars and talk about your favourite and not so favourite parts. Celebrate how your bodies have changed and what you love most about your own body and your partner’s body. This experience offers the ability to create a whole new and intimate understanding and appreciation of each other’s bodies.